11 Unspoken Truths About the Journey of Marriage: Keys to a Strong Relationship

Marriage is a beautiful journey that two people begin together. It's filled with love, laughter, and joy.

However, as with any journey, there are unspoken truths and rules that must be followed to make it successful.

These rules often, if not always, involve effective communication, mutual respect, and the commitment to grow together amidst life's inevitable challenges.

Let us explore the unspoken journey of marriage and the truths necessary for a successful life together.

Whether already familiar through a premarital counseling experience or new insights, these truths set the foundation for deeper intimacy and enduring happiness.

The wedding day is often seen as the unification of a couple's love story. It is a day filled with excitement, happiness, and anticipation.

However, it is important to remember that the wedding day is just the beginning of the journey of marriage.

The real work begins after the wedding day, as you navigate the ups and downs of life together.

It is important to approach this journey with an open mind and a willingness to learn and grow together, embracing each challenge as a good opportunity to deepen your bond.

As a little girl, I would attend numerous weddings and always hear the popular Ghanaian wedding chant, “Ayefro! Dondo,” which, when translated, reveals the essence of marriage on a couple's wedding day as “Awarefoɔ! They don’t know.” (Awarefoɔ = married couple).

This chant joyously acknowledges that marriage is indeed a journey into the unknown, a path of discovery, learning, and growth for newlyweds.

It reminds us that, though the journey may start with joy and celebration, the enduring strength of a marriage is built on navigating the unspoken, learning from each other, and growing together in love and understanding.

One of the unspoken truths of marriage is that it requires effort and commitment. It is not always easy, but it is worth it.

A successful marriage requires both partners to be willing to put in the work and make compromises.

It also requires effective communication and the ability to work through challenges together, embodying the lessons of love, patience, and forgiveness taught through generations and echoed in the unity of shared experiences.

The Essence of Marriage Revealed Through Tradition

Marriage is a vital part of a good beginning to a successful life. It is a tradition that has been practiced for centuries and has been the foundation of many cultures.

Tradition and culture, passed down from generation to generation, reveal the essence of marriage.

Tradition teaches us that communication, compromise, and commitment are the best ways to have a successful marriage.

These three Cs are the foundation of a strong and healthy relationship. Communication is essential in any relationship and especially important in marriage.

It allows you to express your feelings, thoughts, and concerns to your partner.

Compromise is also an important part of a successful marriage. It means you are willing to work together to find a solution that works for both of you.

It is important to remember that compromise is not about giving up what you want but finding a way to meet in the middle.

Commitment is the final piece of the puzzle. It means that you are willing to work through the tough times and stick together through thick and thin.

In many cultures, marriage is not just a union between two people, but a union between two families.

This tradition emphasizes the importance of family and community support in a successful marriage. It also highlights the need for respect and understanding towards your partner's family and culture.

The Art of Communication and Reconnection

Effective communication is the key to a successful marriage. It's not just about talking, but also about listening and understanding.

Open dialogue, problem-solving, and honest conversations are essential to laying the foundation for a healthy relationship.

When you communicate openly and honestly, you build trust and respect, which are the building blocks of a strong and lasting marriage.

Laying the Foundation with Honest Dialogue

In the rawness of real-life struggles, there is profound beauty and strength. The courage to speak your truth, especially in marriage, is not only about asserting your voice; it's about opening your heart fully to your partner.

Honesty is the best policy when it comes to communication. Being truthful with your partner, even when difficult, shows respect and trust, which are key components that help deepen your connection and strengthen your bond.

Equally important is that you clearly voice your needs and expectations. This minimizes misunderstandings and ensures alignment, reinforcing the partnership's foundation. 

The Importance of Empathy and Boundaries

Empathy is an essential component of effective communication in marriage.

When you're empathetic, you can put yourself in your partner's shoes and see things from their perspective. This helps build understanding and a deeper connection.

Setting boundaries is also important in marriage. Boundaries help to establish what is and isn't acceptable behavior in the relationship.

When you set boundaries, you're communicating your needs and expectations, and you're also showing your partner that you respect yourself and your relationship.

Understanding your partner's love language and attachment style can also help to improve communication in marriage.

Love languages are how people express and receive love, while attachment styles are how people form and maintain romantic relationships.

When you understand your partner's love language and attachment style, you're better able to communicate with them in a way that resonates with them.

The Art of Forgiveness in The Journey of Marriage

Marriage is a journey filled with ups and downs. You may sometimes find yourself hurt by your partner's actions or words.

In such situations, forgiveness is crucial for a successful marriage. Forgiveness is letting go of resentment and anger towards your partner.

Forgiveness is not easy, but it is necessary. It helps you overcome the hurt and focus on the present and future.

Holding onto anger and resentment only causes more pain and can lead to the breakdown of the relationship.

To master the art of forgiveness, it's important to understand that forgiveness is not forgetting. It's acknowledging the hurt and choosing to move past it.

Communicating with your partner about the hurt and working together to solve the problem is important.

Keeping the Spark Alive

Remember the butterflies? The excitement of discovering each other’s likes and dislikes? One of the biggest challenges in any marriage is keeping the spark alive.

It's easy to get caught up in the daily routine and forget to make time for each other. But with a little effort, you can keep the passion and excitement alive in your marriage.

One of the best ways to keep the spark alive is to focus on the small gestures that can make a big difference in your relationship.

Make some free time to write a love note, give a warm hug, surprise your partner with their favorite meal, help with household chores, date nights, or go on date days while the kids are at school or simply sitting on the couch together while watching a movie.

These little things show your partner that you care and that you still find them special.

As time goes by, the way we express love and intimacy evolves. It’s more than just physical; it’s about emotional closeness, understanding, and being there for each other.

It's also important to keep an open line of communication. Talk to your partner about what you need and what they need to feel loved, wanted, desired, and appreciated.

Be willing to compromise and adjust your routine to accommodate each other's needs.

Growing Together While Cherishing Individuality

Love and marriage are not about losing yourself in the other; it's about finding your voice and using it to build a foundation of mutual understanding and support.

It's about merging two paths where both can walk comfortably, side by side. Growing together means cheering for each other’s wins and supporting personal goals.

Seeing your partner happy in their element and knowing that this adds more joy to your shared life.

Valuing each other's uniqueness strengthens your relationship. At the same time, setting shared goals, like planning vacations, home improvement, or achieving fitness milestones, helps build a strong partnership.

A fulfilling marriage must support both your individual interests and your joint ventures.

Nurturing Personal and Shared Paths

Supporting personal growth means giving space for each other to explore individual interests and passions.

It's all about balance. About finding and enjoying things you both love doing together. But it's equally important to have your own hobbies or interests.

This balance keeps things fresh. You get to experience new things and share new stories, which in turn keeps the conversation lively.

Make time for each other, but also make sure to give each other space for alone time, to pursue your other interests, like the beginning of a new project.

Valuing Individuality within Marriage and Embracing Differences

In a successful marriage, valuing each other's individuality and embracing your differences is important.

This means accepting each other for who you are, and not trying to change or mold each other into something else.

Remember that you are each other's best friend and confidant, but you are also individual members of your own lives. 

By growing together while still cherishing your individuality, you can create a strong and successful marriage that will endure.

Navigating Family Dynamics Through The Unspoken Journey of Marriage

As you and your partner grow and evolve together, your family dynamics will also change, you will encounter various family dynamics that can either strengthen or weaken your bond.

It's important to navigate these dynamics with care and understanding to maintain a healthy and successful marriage.

Here are some tips on navigating family dynamics through the unspoken journey of marriage.

Dealing with External Pressures in Marriage

External pressures, whether from family, friends, or society’s expectations, can test your bond. Standing together, united in your decisions, is like saying, “It’s us against the world.”

Family members can sometimes pressure your marriage, whether through meddling or unsolicited advice.

It's important to set boundaries and communicate with your family members about what is and isn't acceptable.

Remember that your marriage is between you and your spouse, and external pressures should not dictate any decisions.

United in Parenting and Balancing Life’s Roles in Marriage

Parenting and managing life's roles require teamwork. It's important to talk with your spouse about your responsibilities and work together to ensure a balanced family life. Despite the demands of parenting, keeping your marriage a priority is key.

Children are observant and will test us parents. Disagreements on parenting strategies can create conflict, potentially setting you and your spouse against each other.

Remember, “You kids will leave someday, and then we only have each other,” as my parents used to say. This advice highlights the importance of a united front in parenting.

Consistency in how you handle and raise your children supports their development and strengthens your marriage for the years to come.

Beyond these immediate challenges, it's also vital to look ahead, as your family grows and changes, so will your marriage.

Embracing these changes together, with open communication and flexibility, can turn potential challenges into opportunities for strengthening your relationship.

Whether it's adjusting to a new family member, moving to a new home, or changing careers, facing these changes together can strengthen your bond.

Navigating Finances Together in Marriage

Finances – the most romantic topic, right? But here’s a fact: being on the same page financially can prevent many arguments.

It’s about transparency, shared goals, and sometimes, agreeing to disagree on minor details. Whether you’re saving up for a dream vacation or figuring out monthly budgets, remember, teamwork makes the dream work.

It's important to approach any money-related issues as a team. This means being transparent and honest with each other about your spending habits and not selfishly withholding information.

Work together to achieve your financial goals, showing that your partnership extends to all aspects of your life, including how you manage money together.

Embracing Spiritual Growth and Unity in Marriage

Spiritual growth and unity are essential in a successful marriage. Make time for prayer and reflection together, exploring ways to deepen your spiritual connection, especially in this unprecedented time where the very essence of marriage often seems under attack.

Remember, marriage is a journey where it’s important to grow and evolve together as a couple.

The Bible answers in the word of God, Ephesians 5:25-33 and offers guidance for married couples: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

This scripture highlights love and respect as vital to thriving in marriage.

It reminds us that spiritual unity, nurtured through love, protection, and respect, strengthens the bond of marriage and enables couples to navigate life's challenges with grace.

With effective prayer and following God’s teachings, you can overcome any obstacle and thrive in your shared journey of marriage and navigating family life.

Balancing individual spiritual needs with those shared as a couple is essential to maintain a healthy relationship.

Allowing space for personal spiritual growth, while also coming together in faith, lets both partners grow not just individually but also together, deepening your connection and commitment to each other and God.

Together, in your journey through marriage, embracing both your individual paths to spiritual growth and your united walk in faith strengthens your bond.

This bond, built on love, respect, and shared spiritual goals, becomes your steady support through life's challenges.

Supporting Each Other Through Life's Challenges

Navigating Health Together: A Journey Beyond the Physical

When you enter into marriage, you're committing to support your partner in sickness and in health.

Be it minor ailments or more serious health challenges, the importance of adaptability to unexpected health issues has become clear.

My husband and I use matching smartwatches as a fun and effective way to motivate each other to stay active.

This is part of how we encourage each other to eat well, avoid fast food as much as possible, exercise regularly, and get enough rest to live a healthy life overall.

But our support doesn't end with physical health; it also includes being there emotionally, especially when facing more significant health issues.

Understanding, patience, and helping to find the right resources for managing these conditions are crucial.

This approach to health, combining practical support with emotional solidarity, reinforces our bond, reminding us that together, we navigate not only the joys of life but its trials too.

Communication about our health concerns and decisions is key, ensuring we are both informed and actively participating in our well-being.

Together, we face the challenges and celebrate the victories, making our commitment to each other's health a central part of our journey through marriage.

Bridging Distances: Maintaining Connection Amid Separation

Sometimes life can take you and your partner in different directions. Work, family, or other commitments might mean periods of separation.

During our times apart, due to work in Germany or Ghana, we've discovered that while these moments are tough, this somewhat different approach strengthens our relationship.

They teach us resilience, showing us that our connection goes beyond just physical presence.

Regular video chats and messages strengthen our bond, proving that love knows no distance.

Making time for each other, even through a screen, is vital for maintaining the connection and support that form the backbone of any strong relationship.

Supporting Dreams: Balancing Career Goals and Family Life

Supporting each other's career ambitions is vital to a successful marriage. Encourage your partner to pursue their dreams and help them reach their goals in their new environment.

It's important to make sacrifices and compromises when necessary, particularly when navigating the complex nature of family life.

When one partner is exploring a career change or facing tough situations at work, it is key to be there to offer support, act as a shoulder to cry on, and confide in ideas and solutions.

Ensuring our children understand why, sometimes, one parent might be more absent is essential.

We talk openly with them, sharing the reasons behind our hard work and how it benefits us all as a family.

This openness helps minimize feelings of neglect and encourages a family culture of understanding and support for personal goals.

This approach to career ambitions and family life is a good example of how individual growth and mutual support in professional aspirations are key components of a strong, understanding marriage and put us in the best possible position to thrive.

As we deal with health concerns, spend time apart, or support each other's careers, we’ve learned that clear, open communication is our strongest aspect.

It's the thread that connects all aspects of our journey, ensuring we remain a united front, ready to face whatever challenges come our way.

Friendship: The Heart of It All in The Unspoken Journey of Marriage

At the heart of a successful marriage is a deep and abiding friendship. Do you ask yourself, “Do I actually like my spouse?” or “Do I see my spouse as my best friend?”.

Your spouse should be your best friend – someone you can confide in and rely on no matter what.

You can weather any storm together when you have a strong friendship with your partner.

If you ever find yourself uncertain about the answers to these questions, investing more in your relationship is an opportunity.

Simple acts, such as spending time together and talking about anything other than the daily routine, can reignite that friendship spark.

Respect is also fundamental in any friendship, particularly in marriage. You should always strive to treat your spouse with the same respect you would a close friend.

This involves listening to their opinions, valuing their input, and being considerate of their feelings.

The accumulation of these little things can significantly strengthen your marriage.

Of course, marriage and friendship aren't solely about the serious aspects; it’s also about having fun together and enjoying each other’s company.

Seeing my parents be playful with each other to this day still makes me smile, and I love that our kids can witness this joy too.

When you make room for quality time and shared experiences, you strengthen opportunities for intimacy and romance to flourish.

Growing up Ghanaian, I perceived African men as not particularly romantic.

They rarely offered compliments or showed affection outside the bedroom, and their version of romance was often limited to reciting 90s R&B songs.

Marrying my husband, however, shattered the stereotypes I had and redefined my misconceptions.

This experience taught me the power of patience and faith in finding the right partner.

These days, many of us look to ‘Ciara’s prayer' as a blueprint for our quest for the ideal partner. Still, it's important to remember that while such aspirations are inspiring, finding true love also means paving your own unique path.

By embracing your personal journey and staying true to your values, you can indeed become and attract the spouse you desire and need.

Building a strong friendship with your partner, grounded in mutual respect, trust, and appreciation for the little things in life, is key. With these practical ways and valuable insights, we navigate the journey of marriage.

By prioritizing your friendship, you lay the groundwork for a lifetime of happiness and fulfillment together.

Embracing Friendships Outside Marriage

While finding the time or energy might seem challenging, cultivating friendships outside of marriage and raising a family is essential.

These relationships offer an essential outlet, allowing for experiences and conversations distinct from those with your spouse, and providing much-needed balance.

Maintaining your own circle of friends helps preserve your individuality and personal space – key components of a healthy marriage.

It's about giving each other the space just to be yourselves around and with others. This can actually strengthen what you have together.

A quick tip! Try combining social time with things you're already doing or try to reacquaint yourself with friends you already have. It's about making those outside friendships work for you without adding unnecessary stress.

Remember, marriage is a journey, and like any journey, it has its ups and downs. However, with the right mindset and tools, you can navigate through the challenges and come out stronger on the other side.

Openness and honesty form the foundation of any strong marriage. It's about being ready to problem-solve, having those tough conversations, and listening to your partner's point of view without judgment.

Remember, it's not just about avoiding bad days but about transforming them into moments of growth and deeper understanding.

A successful marriage requires a lot of work, but it's the best kind of work. It's about growing together, learning from each other, and supporting one another through every challenge and triumph. These efforts make every good time together even more meaningful.

We live in an era that presents unique challenges to marriages but also offers opportunities for growth and love of harmony, which you probably prayed and hoped for in your single days.

Seeing each day as a chance to make your partner feel valued, to learn something new about each other, and to reinforce your commitment, turns the journey of your stage of marriage into an endlessly rewarding adventure.

With determination, a practical approach, and the right tools, working toward a fulfilling and enduring marriage is not just a dream, it's a tangible, achievable reality.

Remember, the essence of a thriving marriage lies in mutual growth, love, and the unwavering belief in your collective happy ending.